


Dead Darling

by Koda_Kev



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Asano is a ghost, But not explicitly said, Complete, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, My First Fanfic, it’s not gay if he’s dead, so open to interpretation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:06:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koda_Kev/pseuds/Koda_Kev
Summary: "You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead."Ren is done. Fuck life. Fuck school. Fuck Akari who does nothing but complain. And fuck his dead best friend who refuses to talk to him.Or: Asano is a ghost who really needs to get better at avoiding people.
Relationships: Araki Teppei & Asano Gakushuu & Koyama Natsuhiko & Sakakibara Ren & Seo Tomoya, Asano Gakushuu/Sakakibara Ren, Sakakibara Ren & Akabane Karma
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	1. Ren Can't Deal With This

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, this is my first fic ever, so feel free to leave constructive criticism (especially if the way I layout is weird to read for you), but please be polite. Also if at any point you think I should add or change tags please let me know :)

A while back, Ren had started calling his best friend darling. He didn’t know why exactly. Maybe he liked teasing Asano. Maybe he thought the way he went red and rolled his eyes was cute. He had never really stopped to consider it, nor did Asano ever tell him to stop. So he didn’t. Retrospectively, it probably didn’t help get over his crush. But really Ren was glad he called him Darling then. Because now he might not get a chance to again.

This whole month has been a mess for Ren. He thinks that he’s seeing things. He must be. He mentioned it offhandedly to his dad, but he just gave him a look of pity and said “Grieving can be hard Ren. You’ll be ok.” 

But it wasn’t just grieving. It can’t be. Because grieving doesn’t mean you see ghosts. 

It began quite soon after ‘The Accident’ as Ren had taken to referring to it in his head. At the funeral he saw the dulled figure leaning on the top of the grave of his best friend. He was angry at first. It was definitely disrespectful. Ren started walking over, but his name was called. 

“Ren what are you doing?” Ren turned quickly at the sound of Araki’s voice. He scowled. “Can’t you see the…” the words died on his tongue.

He had turned back around to the grave. But the figure had disappeared. He didn’t even see anyone walking away.

“Ren? See what?” Araki was now next to him. “Nothing I guess.” His friend shot him a concerned look and patted his shoulder. “It’s been a long day Ren, you're starting to act weird. Go home and get some rest. I haven’t slept well recently either. I was about to do the same.” Ren wanted to say no, that wasn’t the reason he was acting ‘weird’. But it was true that he hadn’t been sleeping well. He nodded. Araki gave him one last hit before turning to leave. 

Ren gave one last look at where the figure had been. It was a sad sight. The grave of Asano Gakushuu.

The next time Ren saw the figure was when he was walking home from school. He used to walk with Asano, but obviously that wasn’t an option anymore. Slightly ahead of him was the figure turning a corner. Ren’s eyes widened as he sped up. He didn’t exactly know why. He just felt like he needed to talk to them.

He ended up following them for a while. They kept on going with Ren following close behind. He thought he lost them for a second before spotting them leaning on the edge of the rail on the bridge that Ren had been unintentionally led to. He slowed to try and make his steps quieter.

“Hey!” Ren shouted. He figures head turned quickly in his direction. Ren’s mouth dropped. “Asano?” He managed to get out. 

And it was. It had to be. His hair had faded so it looked almost bleached blonde. His eyes had dulled to a more clouded and muddy colour. But it was definitely Asano. 

Ren started to approach faster. Asano looked panicked. Ren had almost reached him, but then Asano disappeared as if he had never been there. Like how it should be. Ren stood there for a long time. His phone eventually rang, his mother on the other end asking where he was. Ren reassured her that he would be home soon.

As he left, Ren had more questions than answers, but he knew two things for sure. One: His best friend was a ghost and two: Ren was going to find the ghost again. 

There was a short time between that circumstance and the next. At least unlike last time he didn’t didn’t start doubting his own sanity. 

Ren had been going to the bridge every day in hopes of seeing Asano. On the third day he finally saw him. Asano was in the same place as last time, except this time he was sitting, leaning against the railings. 

“Asano!” Ren shouted. And apparently ghosts need to be standing up to do the disappearing thing, because Ghost Asano started scrambling to get up. This had given time for Ren to run over to him. He grabbed his arm. It shocked him for a second, because aren’t you not able to touch ghosts? (He felt cold, as if his sleeve was covered in water) But either way, Ren had a grip on his arm and it seemed to shock Asano as much as it shocked him, because he froze in place.

“Stop disappearing! I’ve been so confused and I… how are you even here?! Not that I’m complaining but-” He was interrupted. “Go away Ren.” Asano snapped. Despite how annoyed he sounded, his voice was croaky, like he had been screaming and it seemed to carry a sad undertone. “Stop trying to find me, alright.” 

Ren was stunned for a second, then angry. “Why!” “Because I said so Ren.” He said in the same sad/snappy voice as he yanked his grayed arm out of Ren’s grip as if it burned him. “But-” He was cut off yet again but not by a voice. Instead Asano had vanished yet again. Ren huffed. 

Fine. If Asano wanted to play hide and seek like a child, then they could. Because Asano may be stubborn, but Ren has never been scared to set him straight the few times he needed it before. So why should now be any different at all?

The last time he had to almost fight to get Asano to listen to him was only the next day. He had purposely ignored what Asano had said and gone back to the bridge. It was a bright Saturday and Ren walked down to the bridge with purpose. He was planning on shouting, maybe grabbing him again if he could. But instead it was different than how he had imagined.

That wasn’t to say that Asano wasn’t on the bridge. He was. That wasn’t the shocking part.

Asano was crying.

A thousand questions ran through his mind (Why is he crying? Can ghosts cry? Can Asano cry? What was happening?) However he only voiced the most repetitive one.

“Are you ok?” He asked as he crouched down next to him. Asano’s head lifted up to face him. His eyes were the same murky shade. The only real sign he was crying was the way he was sat and the silent tears that went down his face. “Yes Ren.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “People cry when they’re ok.” Ren almost smiled. Guess you don’t lose your sarcasm when you die. Probably for the best, since it was 90% of Asano’s humour.

“Didn’t I tell you to go away? Like forever?” Asano said, speaking without a flat tone for the first time since Ren encountered his ghost. “Yea you did. But I didn’t agree to it.”

Asano looked forward again as he moved from having his knees pulled up to crossed legs. The tears going down his face seemed to evaporate. “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.” Ren cocked his head to the side slightly. “So how exactly does that whole thing work? Like are you not fully dead? Can you just walk around?”

Asano’s lip quirked up slightly, seemingly happy that everything had seemed like it was normal. Ren could also agree that he was comforted by the idea. “Well, I’m definitely not alive. I died, I remember dying. I’m not sure how I ended up back. And no, not everyone can see me.” Ren raised an eyebrow. “Then why can I?”

Asano didn’t look at him. He seemed embarrassed, yet another emotion he almost never saw from Asano when he was alive. “Because I…wanted you to see me.” Ren was confused for a second. Then he smiled and shifted so he was now in front of Asano.

“Did you want to see me Asano?” He teased. “Is that why? Darling?” Asano’s face no longer went the red colour, instead his face now went a very, very faint pink, but he still rolled his eyes like how he used to. “Yes Ren I became a ghost for the very reason talking to you and you alone.” 

Ren laughed. He felt comforted. He still had questions. Of course he did. But he didn’t mind waiting. They have so much time. Because Asano isn’t running now. And Ren isn’t impatient now. Because Asano is smiling as well.


	2. Ren Is Struggling To Deal With This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ren fails to realize that he is setting himself up for failure as he starts to rely on Ghost Asano too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fun game: count how many time I put "..."
> 
> Also have I made it obvious that I don't know how to spell OR pronounce the other name for the Big 5. Sue me.

Ren knows that he’s been acting extremely distant from pretty much everything in his life except Asano. He didn’t realize how much he seemed to rely on Asano until he was gone. And now he was back, Ren wanted to make sure he didn’t leave again. He knew that was stupid, that it was nothing to worry about.

‘But what if he does.’ Ren thought when he was up way too late one night. ‘What if Asano needs me near him to stay attached to the human world or something.’ After all, Ren hadn’t asked Asano any of the questions he had wanted too, in case if for some reason it caused him to leave. 

He had a routine now. He would leave for school in the morning, then go straight back to the same bridge, same place afterwards. He would stay for hours until he had to go home. Asano had questioned him about it a couple of times. Surely this wasn’t a good or healthy idea. Ren had insisted it was fine every time though.

Slowly however, it began to become apparent that he was almost completely disconnected from everything but the ghost of his best friend.

First it was his friends. Ever since Asano’s death, they had all been closer than normal, although the air sometimes felt tense and uneasy. All but Ren. He talked in school, but seemed distracted. He said no to meeting after school and studying. Eventually it overflowed into an argument one Wednesday evening.

Araki and Seo had come round his house after school. However Ren only got back from the bridge at 7. When he walked through his door and found his friends sitting in the kitchen with his parents, he was confused. Seo stood up and asked to talk to him. Ren nodded slowly before leading them up to his room.

As soon as the door shut, Araki began. “What’s happening Ren?” Ren sighed as he put his bag down. He knew this was going to happen eventually. “What do you mean?” He knew what he meant.

“You’ve been distant. You don’t act like you used to.” “Can’t I just be alone for a while? You don’t need to be so clingy.” Araki raised his voice “I’m not being clingy! I’m worried about you asshole, that’s it!” “We all are.” Seo interrupted.

Ren balled his fists. He couldn’t tell them about Asano. They would think he’s going insane. But he didn’t have any real excuses either. “Isn’t this normal! I don’t get why you're worried!” Araki got closer “Yes it’s normal, but seriously Ren! You can’t just disappear on us!” “So what?! I’m not allowed to mourn now?!” His walls weren’t soundproof. His parents could definitely hear them.

“That’s not what I’m saying are you stupid?! You need to be less closed off!” Now Ren took a step closer “Well maybe you shouldn’t be so nosy! Maybe I don’t want to talk to you because you’ll make things worse!”  
Araki stopped for a moment. Both of them were breathing heavily and for a second Ren thought for sure he was going to punch him. Instead Araki backed away and took a deep breath. “Fine Ren. We’re leaving. Tell your parents thanks for the coffee.” Araki then turned and left, yanking the door open and leaving a dent on the wall with the handle as he did.

Seo stayed for a second, gave Ren a look over once, twice, then left after his friend.  
Ren rubbed his face with his hands and collapsed onto the bed. Fuck.

The next explosion was his parents. It was the day after the argument. Ren hadn’t gone to school. Soon Ren got tired of sitting in his room feeling sorry for himself and got ready to go see Asano. He ran down the stairs and just as he walked through the kitchen, his mother seemed to have staged an intervention. 

“Ren.” And already he knew he was in trouble. “Yes…?”

His mother sighed. “Ren, your friends talked to me and your father last night. They’re worried as I’m sure you know. And we are too.” Ren felt guilty. Sure he did. He hated letting people down too often. “I’m fine mother. I’m just stressed, and upset really. I’ll go back to school tomorrow I promise.” His mother shook her head. “Look Ren, we’re worried for your education, but mental health as well. It’s important that you’re ok.”

“I’ll be ok. I promise. Now can I leave? I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” He started to move towards the door. He has always found these conversations awkward, so he liked to keep them as short as possible. “Sure. Stay safe ok?” “Of course.”

Finally, it was his school life. The air around his friends had become thicker since the argument, so much that other people had started to notice. Akari and Ren sat as far away from each other as possible at all times. 

He had been neglecting his tutoring duties as well. He had been tutoring a girl since the beginning of the year and he hadn’t been going to their scheduled lessons in the library. He had gone to apologise to her during lunch, but she didn’t seem as mad as she probably should have been. “I understand. Just let me know when we can start up again” She had said. “I-I don’t mind waiting” 

A while ago his friends had been teasing him about her having a crush on him. And before everything went south he might have dated her just because. She was quite sweet. 

So that wasn’t too bad, but he quickly realised that he had been struggling with tests. He had an average score, but considering he used to be at the top, it was a noticeable difference. He had a while before exams happened, so he was fine for now, surely. He didn’t tell Ghost Asano about this obviously. He would probably be disappointed and he seemed to be the only one who wasn’t disappointed already. 

Something especially strange did happen though. Akabane came to talk to him.

The redhead had caught him on the way to the bridge. Ren was wary at first but Akabane wasn’t smiling. “Hello Akabane.” “Ren.” He turned to face him. “What is it?”  
“Umm… I haven’t been to see Asano’s grave. And I don’t really know… where exactly it is.” Ren got where this conversation was going. He looked Akabane up and down. “Ok. Follow me then I guess.” Akabane looked up before quickly following.

They arrived not long after. Ren stood back slightly, while Akabane stood directly in front of the grave. ‘He’s taller than Ghost Asano’ he realised off-handedly.

“Hey Asano. This is weird.” Akabane started. “I don’t think I really know if you would appreciate me being here. Probably not. I just wanted to let you know. You were good competition. And I’ll probably miss your annoying face.” He looked for a second he was going to stop, but then tacked on the end “You're still a dick though.” 

Ren added 'Can you hear what people say to your grave?' to his list of questions as Akabane turned and they both walked out of the graveyard together.

They paused just outside the gate. Akabane finally started walking away before saying over his shoulder “Don’t be a stranger Sakakibara.” Ren glanced at him, confused “We’re not friends Akabane.” “Oh no WE can be strangers. I meant your friends. The tension in the school is too high nowadays.” Ren was about to retort, with what he didn’t know, but before he could Akabane was gone. 

“What are you doing darling?” Ren asked. Asano gave him a quick glare before replying “Writing. Obviously.” “Yeah I can see that but why.” Asano looked at him for a couple of seconds, long enough for Ren to feel anxious. “Because we may need it in the future.” 

Now Ren was confused. But Asano didn’t seem to want to continue, so he decided to change the topic. “Can you hear when people talk to your grave?” “If you’re wondering if I heard what Akabane said earlier, yes.” “So you can hear us?” “Yes.” 

“Who?” Asano seemed to understand. “Araki, Koyama, Seo, my parents. A couple of strangers who either seemed to feel extra emotional that day or didn’t like my father very much and had something to say. That’s it really.” 

Ok so bad question to defuse tension, nice going Ren. “How does this whole connection to earth work exactly?” Asano just stayed silent, like he hadn’t heard him. Ok whatever then. 

“So… you know that girl that would act all nervous during tutoring and stuff?” “Yeah. Have you finally decided to date her?” Ren furrowed his brow. “Why would I date her if I have you?”

Silence.

A small sigh from Asano

“I’m dead, Ren.”

The same sad, croaky undertone as always

Right.

It’s stupid, but he almost forgot. 

“Let's call it a day alright? You can come back tomorrow.” Asano suggested. “Yea.” Ren exhaled “Yea ok.”

Because while Ren had been so attached to a ghost, the remains of Asano Gakushuu, he had forgotten that he couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* guess I gotta add an Angst tag now. (also enjoy the weird friendship dynamic between Ren and Karma lmao)  
> Hope you liked it though. Sorry It's short, but the last chapter should be longer. Got a lot planned for it! :)


	3. Ren Learns How To Deal With This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! Sorry this took so long. I don't have a real excuse other than lack of motivation. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

The beginning of the end is something that sometimes you can’t realise is happening until it ends. For Ren however, He could kind of tell that whatever was happening was coming to a close.

He had gone back to the bridge. It had been a while since his life had started to break down until it was just him and Ghost Asano. Now it felt as if he was standing on a small, round platform, him on one side, Asano on the other and he was dangerously close to the edge. He had no intention of falling backwards, but the floor seemed to be doing the job for him, no matter if he wanted it to or not.

Asano had almost reached the end of the small book he was writing. He had been writing in it less and less the closer he got to finishing it. At the time Ren didn’t understand, but now he knew that Asano didn’t want it to end. Maybe he could tell it was the beginning of the end too. 

The day Ren went to the bridge was also, finally, the day that Asano finished the book. They hadn’t been talking a lot on this particular visit. Looking back, it was a waste. 

“Hey Ren.” Asano said suddenly. He had closed the book. “Stop calling me darling.”

“What?” Ren was shocked. Why? Did he fuck this up as well now? He could almost see the platform continuing to crumble.

“It’s not anything serious. I just…” Asano hesitated, like he struggled to find the words. “I think you should stop. That’s all. And leave.”

“Asano, what? You know I will just come back tomorrow.”

“But I’m telling you not to Ren.” He stepped closer to him. He should be feeling his breath with how close they were, but instead he just felt colder. “I need you to leave and not come back to see me. Please.” 

Asano’s voice was quiet, the sad undertone suddenly sounded a lot more prominent in his words. Then he grabbed Ren’s right hand and pushed the small book into it. “Please.” He repeated.

Ren didn’t trust his voice. He didn’t trust his legs not to give out. He didn’t trust his arms to stop shaking. So instead he just nodded. Ghost Asano smiled and put his hand on Ren’s face. He hadn’t realised he had been crying. “Thank you.” Asano said calmly. 

Despite agreeing, Ren found himself reaching forward and attempting desperately to connect their lips. He had wanted to know what it was like. But he knew it was always too late.

The platform was crumbling, but instead of it letting Ren fall, the opposite side of the circular surface had broken. 

Ren felt warm and he realised the Ghost Asano was gone. It felt like the end of something. He looked down at the book and opened it to the first page. And only then did he let loose a sob. 

**_‘Rebuild your platform’_ **

  
  
  


**_‘Let others help and support you’_ **

Ren called Araki and asked him to meet him at the library. He was honestly surprised that Araki hadn’t already blocked him (not that he would blame him). He was re-reading the neat section that Asano had written over and over when Araki finally arrived and cleared his throat. 

“What do you want Ren?”

Ren closed the book and looked at Araki in the eye.

**_“I was never good at this myself honestly.”_ **

“I wanted to apologise to you for being an idiot. I shouldn’t have been so upset. You were worried about me.” 

Araki raised an eyebrow at him. “Ren Sakakibara, apologising? I can’t believe it.”

**_“But even I know that sometimes it’s necessary so you can be ok again.”_ **

“Yeah well.” Ren felt awkward, shifting on his feet but he refused to break eye contact. 

“I figured that it’s the least I owed you.”

“You were being an asshole.”

**_“Even if they don’t make it easy for you to accept them back in, you need to be patient and hope you return the same patience to you when rebuilding,”_ **

“I know I was. But I can admit when I’m wrong. Sometimes.”

Araki began to smile. “I forgive you Ren.”

**_“After all, you can only do so much, and get so far on your own”_ **

  
  


Ren wiped his palms on his trousers. This was going to suck. But he could do it. Retrospectively, it isn’t that hard to do in the first place. He knew that this week was just going to be conversation after conversation of him admitting he was wrong. He would be fine.

He took a final deep breath before walking into the kitchen.

“Hey mother?” He said

His mother turned around from the window. “Yes honey?” 

“I think…”

**_“Parents can be there for you.”_ **

“I think I need help.”

His mother now gave him her full attention.

**_“Your life isn’t framed around mine. And we both had different family dynamics”_ **

“How can I help you Ren? Is there something I can do?”

**_“You don’t need to suddenly tear down your dynamic to make room for mine. You never did.”_ **

His mother hadn’t asked what it was he needed help with. Maybe she knew. His father had always said that he and his mother were similar in some ways.

“Just, can you be there? When I ask for advice? Or with small things that I probably should already know how to do?”

**_“Me and you treat family differently. For you, it was a support system. So let it be one.”_ **

She smiled almost sadly at him. “I always was, you know.”   
Ren looked down.

“I know. I just need more reassurance right now.”

**_“You don’t need to be fully open. No one is expecting you too. Just talk.”_ **

His mother nodded.

“Of course.”

**_“That’s enough. And it can be enough for however long you want it too.”_ **

“Thanks.” he said quickly and began turning around. He felt like he had said what he needed. He couldn’t stay here for longer.

“I love you, Ren.”

He paused for a second before responding.

“Love you too.”

He left. He had talked. That was it. But it felt nice.

  
  
  
  


**_“Work from there.”_ **

Him and Akari no longer communicated through glares at school any more. The tension was still there. All of them almost expected Ren to close off again. Including Ren himself.

**_“Don’t beat yourself up over having to redo or repeat things.”_ **

But it would fade with time. They started adjusting to a routine. Not quite going back to their old one, but definitely trying to move on. No use in trying to recreate the old one. 

**_“Just move on. Keep going. Don’t stop pushing for the end result.”_ **

Everything would move forward with them. It didn’t mean forgetting. That was impossible. But it was ok. Everything was ok.

**_“Even if you don’t know what that result is.”_ **

Ren had texted the girl he was tutoring. She had been patient. He appreciated it.

He had, admittedly, flirted with her. Maybe he was using it as a way of going on. Is that selfish and rude? Yes.

**_“Because you can figure that out once you get there.”_ **

But it felt normal. When they brushed hands it wasn’t cold. When she talked she didn’t sound like she had been crying. 

Those weren’t things he had disliked about Asano’s Ghost. In fact he had found it comforting. But that was the problem. If he felt those things comforting, he would end up back at the bridge, regretting and wishing to go back. And he couldn’t do that. 

He just had to go forward. That was all. Forward.

  
  
  
  
  


The next time he went to the bridge, he was 24.

Maybe he shouldn’t have. But he felt like he could now. He no longer felt the need to call out for the ghost when he was near anymore. He didn’t feel the need, the want, to ask for his darling. 

So instead, he began talking. About his job. About how he followed the advice.

About his partner. About how they had started dating in his third year of high school. About how at first he was hesitant to say yes, because he didn’t know he was ready, or if he even wanted to move on yet. However he had found himself falling for them.

He felt slightly guilty at first, wondering if it was something Asano would want to hear (assuming he even could). But the longer he talked, fiddling with his engagement ring as he did, he decided that Asano would be proud of him. 

“Or at least I hope you are.” Ren stated out loud, with a small, reluctant smile on his face. 

“I think we all did what we could. But thank you. For giving me the motivation to do so.”

He should leave. Before he did something he regretted. 

“I’ll probably come back within the next couple of years. But I guess for now…” Ren didn’t mean for it to sound so final. But things happen as they do. 

“See you dar-Gakushuu. Soon.”

He turned back the way he came. Without looking back or even hesitating. He moved forward. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I left the gender of Ren's partner at the end ambiguous, so feel free to use your own interpretations there.  
> Sorry if the talk between Ren and his mother seemed tense. I don't know how to connect with parents lmao but I tried.
> 
> Hope you like it. Thanks for reading!  
> -Koda

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! There will probably be around 3 chapters, but uploads will probably not be consistent in any way.
> 
> Btw I have a tumblr, come talk to me (kodakev)


End file.
